


You've got me thinking this is love, this is love that I'm feeling

by JuliaBaggins



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: Grantaire is sick, Enjolras takes care of him and maybe this is a good time to realize just how much in love with each other they are...





	

**Author's Note:**

> So today was my first free day in weeks and I should have actually spend it with reading a book for my social psychology class but... well. Instead, this happened xD

Enjolras is looking from one face to the next, again. He _knows_ that no one stepped into the Musain within the few moments since he had last looked around, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hope. Hope for a certain face with kind eyes, surrounded by dark curls, to appear between his other friends. But, no matter how often he looks around, Grantaire isn’t there and he doesn’t get there until their meeting is finished. And it’s not like Enjolras would feel guilty about some of the things he said during his last argument with the cynic, except that he is, and he doesn’t like the thought that he had hurt Grantaire enough to miss their meeting. Not that this would be the reason, no, Enjolras tells himself. He is probably just busy with some art project or got stuck in a bar or something like this. It’s not like Enjolras would expect Grantaire to inform him every time that he doesn’t get here. But he had been to every meeting for months now, always mocking Enjolras, always arguing, but _there_ …

“Enjolras?”

The blond leader looks up to find Combeferre standing next to his chair.

“Is everything alright?”

“Of course”, Enjolras answers, and he adds a smile though he’s not sure how convincing it had been. Not very, judged by the frown he receives from Combeferre in return.

“You’re worried because he didn’t come here today.”

It’s not a question, as they had been best friends long enough to read each other easily. Sometimes _too_ easy, Enjolras thought with a frown.

“He can do whatever he wants.”

Combeferre sighs and gets down to a chair next to Enjolras, looking him deep in the eyes.

“Of course he can. But I know that you fear to have gone too far that last time, and- You didn’t mean what you said there, did you?”

“No, I didn’t”, Enjolras answers miserably, and right in that moment he realizes just how much he’d give for Grantaire walking into the Musain and being given the opportunity to apologize to him.

 

“I’ll go visit him”, Enjolras exclaims and already starts to rise from his chair.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” 

Combeferre’s tone is gentle, but Enjolras knows exactly what his friend means. _Are you sure you aren’t going to make this even worse?_ No, he is not sure, because sometimes it feels like Grantaire’s mere presence is enough to make his blood boil and that they can’t be in the same room for more than five minutes without starting an argument, but there is another thing he is sure about. He didn’t mean it when he yelled at Grantaire that he wouldn’t be good for anything, that he wouldn’t really belong to them, and he needs to make sure that Grantaire knows this too.

 

After a short walk Enjolras stands in front of the door to Grantaire’s flat and hesitates. He’s aware that he’s not the best at apologizing, and what if he’ll really make it worse, what if Grantaire doesn’t want to see him? 

While he’s still busy with these thoughts, Enjolras hears a noise from inside the flat, one he can’t quite place, and he knocks. The noise repeats itself – _is that coughing?_ – and then Grantaire opens the door. Enjolras can’t help his small intake of breath at the sight of his friend, who is pale as a bed sheet, except for his nose and eyes who are red, his curls are sticking to his forehead and there is something very tired in his glance. However, as soon as he recognizes Enjolras, his eyes widen, and he tries to stand a little straighter – resulting in another coughing fit.

“Forgive me, oh Apollo, I fear I’m in no condition for debates today”, Grantaire says in a rough voice. 

“You’re sick”, Enjolras states and receives a raised eyebrow in return. 

“Oh really? I didn’t noti-“, Grantaire is coughing again, and in a second, Enjolras is by his side, hesitantly putting his hand on the other man’s back and rubbing circles there.

“You really shouldn’t be standing around here in the cold!”, and with that, Enjolras is leading Grantaire back into the flat, carefully helping him to sit down at his sofa.

 

When he is sure that Grantaire is fully covered by a blanket, Enjolras stands up to close the flat’s door. As he turns around again, he caches a surprised expression on the cynic’s face.

“What?”

“You’re still here”, Grantaire murmurs as this would be something he can hardly believe.

“Of course I- You thought I would leave you? Like _this?_ ”

Grantaire’s silence is answer enough and Enjolras feels sick. He tries very hard not to think about this, about what impression of his feelings for the other man he might have given if he is convinced that Enjolras would leave him when he’s ill, as if he wouldn’t care about him. Instead of thinking about just how much he cares about Grantaire, he sits down next to the man and lightly places a hand on top of his blanket-covered knee.

“I won’t leave. Unless you want me to?”

Grantaire looks at him with wide eyes before he slowly shakes his head.

“No, I mean if you want to stay, but I’m sure you’ve got something important to do…”

“Indeed. And that’s making some tea for you.”

Enjolras smiles at Grantaire, and there is something like the hint of a smile he gets in return, and no, he won’t think about that now, about the strange feeling it causes his heart, because he’s got a task at hand and he doesn’t want to get distracted. He’ll have time to figure this out later.

 

It’s already quite late in the evening, the sun had set some time ago, and Enjolras is sitting next to Grantaire’s bed, watching his sleeping form. Joly had been there, alarmed by Enjolras’ tone when he had called him and asked to come to Grantaire’s flat, and after he had convinced their leader that it wasn’t something serious, that R wouldn’t need to go to the hospital and that some medicine, lots of rest and some good care would do just fine, he had given Grantaire a pill for his coughing and one to help him sleep. 

Now, he was laying there, breathing not quite as deep as usual, and Enjolras finds himself getting lost in how the low light the streetlights outside supply highlight Grantaire’s features; the contrast of his dark hair on a white pillow. And he caches himself wondering, wondering if he would have reacted the same if another of his friends had gotten ill, or if there was… Something. A feeling he can’t name, a little voice in the back of his head that whispers how nice it would be to hold Grantaire’s hand… But no, he couldn’t do that, could he? Enjolras shakes his head and decides to find something else to do.

Courfeyrac had dropped by shortly after Joly, leaving a bag with some things Enjolras had asked him for and wearing an expression on his face that had Enjolras couldn’t make sense of. It was nearly as if he was… amused? But no, their friend was sick, surely this wasn’t the moment to be amused. There had to be something else, and now wasn’t the time to wonder about it.

Enjolras opens the bag and eyes the book he was meant to read for university but somehow, he knows that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on it right now. Instead, he puts out his knitting supplies – it had started as a joke a few months ago, the result of a stupid bet with Marius, but somehow, he had come to enjoy it. Knitting always had a calming effect on Enjolras, he was able to keep his hands busy and by now, all of his friends were walking around in socks he had knitted, special design made for everyone. He remembers the challenge when it came to knit a pattern of moths into Combeferre’s socks, the smile his friend wore when he got them, and wonders what he could do now, something to keep his thoughts busy as well as his hands, to prevent them from asking questions considering certain feelings he might or might not have towards a certain other person… And suddenly, there is an idea. He smiles while he starts to work.

 

By the end of the week, Joly had declared Grantaire’s cold to be officially over and Enjolras is sitting at his sofa a bit awkwardly, not sure what he could say or if he should stay in Grantaire’s flat at all. Sure, he had been here for the last few days, watching over Grantaire, knitting, cooking soup, making sure that he had it warm enough, but his friend had been asleep for most of the time, and now, as he was feeling better, Enjolras was unsure of what to do next. There was a bag resting in his lap at the moment, one he intended to give to Grantaire as soon as he got out of the bathroom, but there was something else, something he needed to say…

The bathroom door opened and Grantaire walked out, his dark curls fluffy and still a bit damp from his shower, a healthy blush on his cheeks, a little smile on his lips, and Enjolras was glad when he opened these to speak and interrupted Enjolras’ train of thoughts.

“Hey”, Grantaire says before he sits down next to Enjolras, trying to hide the wild beating of his heart behind a calm smile.

“Enjolras, listen – I wanted to thank you for taking care of me during the last days. That was really nice of you, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome. It was my pleasu-, I mean no, of course it wasn’t a pleasure as you weren’t feeling well, but it was nice to spend time with you, not that I-, argh”, Enjolras nervously runs his hands through his curls before dropping the bag in Grantaire’s lap, “Here.”

“What is this?”, Grantaire asks, confusion audible in his voice.

“You should look”, Enjolras answers, and if it’s just a whisper, he doesn’t think about it too much.

So Grantaire carefully reaches inside the bag and takes out the sweater Enjolras had knitted during the last week. It’s a dark shade of green, one that fits Grantaire’s eyes (not that Enjolras would think about his friend’s eyes, not at all), and on the front, Enjolras has knitted the names of all of their friends. Grantaire’s is in the middle, surrounded by his friends, right where he belongs, and when Enjolras looks up to meet these deep green eyes and sees the emotions there, he’s sure that Grantaire understands all of the things he wanted to say with this sweater. And there are so many things he had prepared to tell Grantaire, but all of them seem to have left his mind, so he just takes a deep breath before he starts saying… something.

 

„Maybe you could wear it to the park or something one day, like, while you’re there, with me, I mean, as in _you_ and _me_ , and…”

“What are you doing here, Enjolras?”

“Well, I’m actually trying to ask you out”, Enjolras whispers, and when he sees Grantaire’s raised eyebrows, his confused (or was it rather unbelieving?) expression, he adds “Like, as a date, you know.”

“A… date? You? With _me?”_

“Yes. I mean it would be my honor if you’d say yes, but of course it’s also perfectly alright if you say no, I’m not expecting you to….”

“Enjolras, stop. Of course I’m saying yes. I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Enjolras’ whole face seems to light up at this and Grantaire chuckles, a fond expression in his eyes. Enjolras rolls his own.

“Oh shut up, this is new for me”, Enjolras laughs.

“Asking someone out is new for you?”, Grantaire asks with a smirk.

Enjolras quickly counts to three in his head, takes a deep breath and grabs Grantaire's hand.

“No. Realizing you've fallen in love is.”

 

“Can you- can you say that again?”

“As often as you'd like to hear it. I love you”, and with that, Enjolras places a soft kiss to Grantaire's forehead.

“I love you”, a kiss to his right cheek.

“I love you”, a kiss to the left.

“I love you”, a kiss to Grantaire's nose.

“I love you”, it's merely a whisper now, and Enjolras hesitates, his lips only a breath away from Grantaire's.

“I love you too”, and with that, Grantaire closes the distance between them, and his lips are on Enjolras', and they are kissing each other. 

And it feels oh so good. 

It feels like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from For King & Country's "This is love" (;
> 
> Nice comments are very welcome! ❤


End file.
